Spring 2010

{ March 30, 2010 @ 5:20 pm } · { Daily }

Well, I have not heard from Melissa. I am assuming she is still on her way back to New York with her Dad in the RV and doesn’t have internet connection. I know she doesn’t like to talk on the phone and I am giving her time to heal before I go calling her. What do you say anyway? How are you doing? Would she answer truthfully. Like horrible.. I’m doing horrible. Or would she say okay…just to say okay. It just seems that is the 1^st thing that comes out of your mouth… How are you? How are you doing? I know I say that a lot. I just feel sick to my stomach about Cassandra. I know that she is in a better place, but gosh, we all want to be there too and can’t, we have to wait a lifetime. And…we miss her.

I was thinking the other day, how I am 51, so I have lived over twice as long as she did. Then I was thinking one day too, how much stuff I had to do, or wanted to do… seriously my work is never done. I don’t know how I get so far behind… you should see some of the rooms in my house (clutter). Then I thought, Cassandra never got to do a lot of stuff. I am always in a hurry… gotta do this, gotta do that, so I can enjoy my life. Then the other day too, I was walking the dogs and was tired. I thought of Cassandra, how tough she was and what Melissa said about “just one more” at any cost. That made me walk faster and harder.

Yes, Cassandra had an effect on my life. I will remember her and what she stood for, for a long time to come.

I don’t think have written a regular blog about what I have been doing for a while now… probably not since before Christmas, or after Christmas. To be honest with you, I couldn’t write without feeling guilty. How could I write, I had a wonderful weekend with my family and I did this and did that, while Melissa was taking care of her daughter in the hospital and Cassandra was fighting for her life. I just couldn’t. But I need to start writing again. Maybe, for my own sanity.

Let me start with Spring. What a beautiful Spring it is this year in San Diego. We have had so much rain that all the hills are green and soooo many flowers. I can’t remember when I saw so many flowers blooming in San Diego. Everyone’s yard is green and all their flowers that they didn’t realize they had, are blooming. Plus, you gotta love the smell, it just smells wonderful. The scents of the flowers that are blooming and the canyons with dew on them in the evenings… Wonderful.

Yesterday, we took the dogs to Fiesta Island to go take pictures in the blooming flowers. Well, there weren’t really that many… not like there used to be. But there were some, I will include some at the bottom. We had 6 dogs there. Trix, Bently, Roxy, Tia, Jax and Cali. They had a ball… they all get along great together, and love to follow Cali around. She is like the leader and all the greyhounds love her. Poor Jax is getting old. I had to protect her so she wouldn’t get trampled on. Tia, oh how she wishes she was a greyhound. She has so much fun with them. It all ended good. It was a beautiful day down there.

Then my mom, Taylor and I went over to Karen’s house (our bible study teacher) and watched the Passion of Christ – the movie. Gosh, that was tough, it really is hard to watch, but so good. The first time I saw it in the theater I made myself watch everything, the beatings and the hanging on the cross. I thought, I am not going to turn away. Last night, I tried, but I couldn’t, I had to shut my eyes on some of it… it made me sick to my stomach.

That is it for now. I am going to put some pictures of my doggies below, playing the flowers and water at Fiesta Island.